Tuesday, February 23, 2010

“CURTAIN CALL and MOTHERS DIE"

I literally controlled the ice that night. Jumping with uncanny ease, I seemed to jump to heights never reached before and with full turns of 3 rotations. I made the jumps that were destined for the late - night sports highlight reel. It was the Olympic figure skating championships and I was to bring home the gold for our team and our country, no one could take our team to victory but me. As I skated to the curtain I felt as though the world was watching. I would place my name in ice rink greatness. I felt as though I touched the “ Zone”… no that’s wrong…I owned the “ZONE”.

 It was short lived to be sure. My first blade stroke  past the curtain and the sound of my name being announced would label “ my victory” as merely a fluke, a slight brush with greatness. Desperately trying to recount the days routine, what did I eat?…how much sleep did I get the night before?…what was I wearing?…seemingly nothing would return me to that place and time, on a night I was capable of feats mere mortals could only watch and witness.

Since that day I can remember a handful of occasion where the feeling returned, be it ever so brief and rare. Not all were sports related. It appeared to be non selective occurring maybe at a business presentation, community function, or at a time of crisis. The feeling of complete comprehension, and total control of my destiny and surroundings…a focus or drive unmatched by those around me. It’s a resource that I can’t seem to tap at will. Is it always within me?…do I somehow trigger it’s surfacing by an event or an emotion? Is it mental, physical, or perhaps genetic?
 All I know is that I want it BACK!

 I know it exists…I must learn about it…study its nature…find out if I CAN APPLY IT TO EVERY DAY EXPERIENCES…my return to …  “ the ZONE”  

Prior to this major event my MOM died. I was 14. My mom was 41.


My years as a teenager left me wondering if in any way my mom's death created a shift in my identity.It was on the night of that actual performance my quest began.  Was there any connection to why for so long I could not connect into the Zone. 


After many years of studying the mind/body connection in 1995 I found the answer and reconnected to the ZONE. 


 Last night I wanted more than anything to be able to watch Joannie skate. However, I was on board a flight with malfunctioning TV screens. Nothing by coincidence. Throughout the flight I kept sending her love and empowering thoughts of strength and encouragement.  Late last night I got to watch the replay brilliantly covered by CTV in Canada.Watching her skate I could feel her mothers' presence, guiding her, their connection lending Joannie the strength to jump, to spin, to complete what they as a team had started so many years ago.


My heart aches  knowing what she has yet to go through by now being a motherless daughter but I also know that this is part of her personal journey.


During her short program Joannie was able to stay in the Zone. All her logical levels lined up.  I pray her identity does not shift before her performance on Thursday so we all get to experience the true meaning of Owning the Zone  


 


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